kidscrappy

I got this little baby done 3 hours ago. Hurt like hell but I really love it now ^^
I have to admit, I never would've gotten a tattoo if it had to be done by a stranger. Thankfully, my uncle is a tattoo artist. Hooray for having connections :D
So I'm officially 18 now. I'M AN ADULT.
Quick guys. How should I celebrate?
I was thinking about getting drunk but I can't with my meds and I don't have anyone to get drunk with anyway

I'm not rentin porn either XD

Idk guys. I'm not mad anymore. Now I'm just so fucking sad.
What the hell is this shit. I'm not bipolar or anything so why the fuck do my moods change so rapidly?

I'm just getting one hell of a fall depression combined with what seems to be a mid-life crisis at the same time. I'm to young to have a mid-life crisis, seriously.

I'm turning 18 tomorrow and I don't know what to do next. I don't really have any close friends. Well I do have one wich I love dearly but she travels the world without me and has a shitload of friends other then me. I'm not having anyone to celebrate my birthday with. It seems that all my relationships with people have just faded. The only people I really like are a couple of you. There must be something seriously wrong with me. I need to get some RL friends, pronto.
I'm just stuck in life you know? I have a job that offers me no chances which I still go to daily to kill the time. It's not that I hate my job, some days I even love it, it's just not worth anything. 
I don't go to school. I don't even know if I want to go back to school. I don't think I want to study pedagogics anymore. But I don't know what else to do with my life. I can't go around without a diploma for something else then high school. I still really want to go to art school. But I don't think I'm good enough. And I have no idea what to do afterwards. Because I need a steady job, and I don't think I can get that in the art business.
What am I talking about, I can't even work a full-time job *sighs*.
I kind of want to move out, but I don't know if I can take care of myself. And I don't really have someone I could be roommates with. But I'm not staying here. At least not for to long.
And as a nice closing. I'm having second toughts about the tattoo I'm getting done tomorrow. I know I really want it. Hell, I've wanted the exact same design in the exact same place since I was 2 years old. But I just feel like I'm going to regret it somehow.

I'm going to stop sulking now. Everyone should just ignore this entry.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S COLD MAN!!!!!

IT'S LIKE FREEZING, LITERALLY!!  I'M DYING!!
I LIVE IN THE FUCKING NETHERLANDS (OF FAIL)!! TEMPERATURE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO GO BELOW 0 DEGREES CELSIUS BEFORE FUCKING DECEMBER!! WHAT THE FUCK!?
WHO THE FUCK BROKE MY GLOBAL WARMING!??

/rage
No seriously, it really is cold. The fact that I work in a greenhouse without heating doesn't help either. I have to wear 2 sweaters to avoid freezing to the fucking floor. If it's getting any colder, I'm hibernating.

Today is my dad's birthday. The dude is turning 53, my parents are ancient T___T. Ah well, as long as he's happy. I never know what to give him for his birthday tough. I gave him a lunchbox *shot*

I got an e-mail from Brendon (the jerky ex-boyfriend). It was an invitation to his and his (new) girlfriend's joined birthday party. I literally went: "HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHH no." >___<
Seriously, I don't want to see the guy ever again. Thanks to the fucking brat I can't fall in love anymore. Because I'm afraid someone will hurt me as much as he did. >__<
You know how people usually say that fiction ruined real men for them? While that is partially true, I think Brendon ruined the most of it for me.
FUCK YOU BRENDON, FUCK YOU FOR RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE!!
This would be a good time to have a knight in shining armor ring my doorbell, sweep me of my feet and ride into the sunset on his white horse with me in his arms. Or something like that. I would be happy with a cute, nerdy narutard as well. Nevermind, I'll stick with my fandom crushes.
(bonus fact: It's been, almost a year? Since we broke up. I'm never getting over it I guess. I will always be bitter)

I'm full of hate today, did anyone else notice that?

Imma go draw something happy now.

This journal needs more memes and surveys.

the matchmaker meme ♥

( long survey is long )

( wall of text )

List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
→ Tag seven people to do the same.
→ Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it."
Orignally tagged by queroli

1. I have a huge childhood trauma that involves cutting my wrists. When I was a kid my babysitter used to watch those trashy soap operas and once somebody killed themselves by slitting her wrists with a shard of glass. Since I found out you can actually die that way I have been forever afraid of letting sharp things near my wrists. I even wear wristbands to keep them covered, just in case.
2. I can't go to sleep without spending some time online. It's my calm-down moment of the day. Even if it's watching some fucked up shit on youtube or some creepy anime. Doesn't matter, but I need to be online. It's weird but whatever.
3. I will forever hate my own body. I still think that I look like a dude, body-wise and I'm still waiting to develop some "female parts", even tough I'm almost 18 and it's not gonna happen again. I will also always feel to fat. I weigh 60 kg and look like a stick. This all results from the time I had a really bad depression and ended up weighing only 45 kg. All the weight that has put on since then made me feel fat. I don't have the actual willpower to get an eating disorder tough and I'm still sane enough to know that I'm healthy.
4. I can't really see the difference between reality and fantasy. This comes forward most in childhood memories of things that never happened. It also happens that if I read a book I can't really remember if certain events actually happened or that I read them in a fanfic. Ah well. As long as it doesn't hurt someone.
5. I can't get trough a day without getting injured. I'm a magnet to little accidents. It's never bad or anything but I'm always covered in scratches, scars and bruises. Bonus fact: My arms alone have 34 scars at the moment. Not counting my hands. Mostly are courtesy to my little sisters nails. ^^"
6. I'm afraid of almost everything, this includes, but is not limited to: People, animals (all of them, especially bugs and spiders), heights, drowning, fire, ghosts, aliens, small spaces, darkness, clowns, busses and most of all DINOSAURS. I still can't sleep for 3 weeks when I watch Jurassic Park. I literally curl up in a corner and cry. Fucking raptors.
7. Related to fact number 6. I can handle horror movies and anime really, really well for some reason. Even going as far that most things on the tvtropes page for High Octane Nightmare Fuel doesn't scare me anymore. No idea how this happened.

So, 7 people to tag. I tag: verschreibsel , darizard , draggycakes , sanee_ftw , andwhenyousing , pokkinchoco  and lady_supernova

If you made it this far get yourself a cookie or something, you deserve it. ^^

I went to the movies today, alone.
I'm still trying to figure out if I'm awesome or plain sad for always going to the movies by myself.
Especially when I'm going to watch a romantic comedy and I know that I'm the only single in the theatre.
*Sigh*

GUYS! GUYS! GUYS!
I'm sick T___T
Went to the doctor today because my cold has been hanging around for the last week and won't go away. And apparently I've got the flu no swine flu tough. So she gave me a receipt to get some meds.
I've already been to the apothecary 3 times in 2 days. They must think I'm a medication druggie by now >___<
I got a coughing fit at the apothecary as well. And all the old geezers that hang out there looked at me like "FLU! FLU! FLU! UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!" and I was like "Hahhahahah! I'll be the death of you old man *coughcoughcough*" I'm going to special hell <3
But now I have these ~fabulous~ hot pink pills that should make me better.
I fucking hope so because I haven't been to work since wednesday and I'm bored to death.

( What is this? I don't even... )

Oh, and before I forget. Again
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR I GOT YOUR PACKAGE!! last weekend
I LOVE YOUR RANDOM STUFF <3

I'm in love with the bunny purse. It's so cuuuuuute ^3^
And your note and the drawing of Tenten are now hanging proudly on my wall of fame ^^

On a last note. Me and verschreibsel  have started a podcast. *headdesk*
Wich we recorded the first episode of last week and I still haven't uploaded it yet because internet hates me and dies everytime I try.
A couple of hours ago it was at 93 % AND THEN MY INTERNET DIED T_________________T
I swear I'll have it up eventually bb, don't kill me? <3
I've started watching Glee, it's quite funny

Somehow, this turned into a picspam/rant post.
Feel free to ignore it

Meme time:

( This LJ has to much memes )


And I would also like to take this oppurtunity to tell you all that waking up on the bathroom floor is not something anyone should make a habbit out of.
I hate life and being sick. And that I can't deal with stress and that these goddamn finals will be the death of me if work doesn't kill me first.
I really want to break some stuff with a baseball bat or something before I go fucking crazy and kill myself.
This is not really serious, I'm not really going to kill myself. I'm just going to think about doing it.
Yes I'm done now. I'll be fine in the morning.

No I didn't put those in the wrong order XD

My cousin got married today so I just saw my first wedding ever. They where going for a very traditional wedding in church. They even hired a carriage to go to church in. She had demanded everything to be completely white. She really looked beautiful and they both looked so happy they could burst out crying at any given moment. My other cousin (the bride's sister) kept running around trying to get everything to go smoothly, even standing up to straighten out the dress every now and then. But they really had a beautifull ceremony. To bad I'm not invited to the party tonight, but none of the cousins are.

Tomorrow is Abunai.
And I'm trying to figure out if I got everything I need now XD
Finally completed my Ryuugu Rena cosplay. I got of my lazy ass and made a cleaver yesterday. And my mom managed to find a wig somewhere. What would I do without her XD
But to avoid going completely broke again I'm making a shopping list. (Yes a shopping list for an anime convention. I already know I will hardly stick to it but still)
-NANA volumes 13, 16 and up
-Itachi plushie (what? that's important)
-Higurashi anime DVD (If I can find one this year >__<)
-Honey and Clover manga
-Naruto manga (I figured it was about time I actually owned a couple of these XD)
And I can't think of anything else... I'll just see if I can find some cute stuff  ^^
I'm so excited. I'm slightly embarassed about going all the way there by train in my cosplay outfit, but I'll survive XD

And as usual I'm catching up with today's running anime because I always do that for conventions XD
Spoilers ahead I guess.

( spoilers for Umineko under the cut )

I really need to change my icons. I'm thinking I have to much Naruto ones XD

That's all guys. I'm off to watch more Bakemonogatari

Why hello there new friends form the Fandoms Secrets friending meme ^^

This is where I would link to a contact post if I actually had one but I don't. So yeah ^^"
Basic stuff:
Name: Lisa, Kidscrappy, whatever you wanna call me
Age: 17, almost 18 tough
Country: The Netherlands (of fail)
Msn: lisavan_moorsel@hotmail.com

Anything else you wanna know just ask me.


Btw, verschreibsel , I got your postcard. I fucking love it, thanks bb <3

*ninja's in*

EXTREME FUCKING FRIENDING MEME

*ninja's out*

I HAD MY HISTORY FINAL TODAY

ffffffffffffff... Idk guys. I have no idea how I did. I tought I did pretty good last time and it turned out that I failed, hard. So no idea how I should feel about this one.
Oral exam on the 24th and then I'M FREEEE (hopefully).

To fill up this post a little, let me show you what I did last night instead of sleeping.

( I can't draw for shit )

I'm developing a massive girlcrush on Konan so I decided to try drawing her.
Now I know why I never did before. IT'S THE FLOWER.

I swear it looks better in person, my scanner fucked it up.
Also had to touch it up a little in a rip-off photoshop program because of the goddamn streakmarks >___<

THE EYE IS ANNOYING ME BIG TIME

Yes I'm done spamming now

GIRLY MEME <3





Btw, History final is tomorrow
I'M GONNA FAIL SO HARD <3

Why hello flist, it's been a while.

This is just going to be a post about my real life to try to get things straight myself.
You are warned XD

( ranting under the cut )


/end rant

ANON MEME

Let's do this shit.


I've been insanely busy lately with work because OMG CHRISTMAS (yes we're early why do you ask?)
APPARANTLY, august is the perfect month to start christmas shenanigans so I've been at work a lot putting price tages on all sorts of christmas shit. I will never get this glitter off of me, never. I SPARKLE GODDAMMIT.
But yeah, if anyone wondered, that's what I do with my life.

Still got no school but working on it!
Going to visit (hopefully) new school tomorrow to figure out what to do with my education.
Retake of History final is on the 11th and I'm scared shitless. I really need to get it right this time T____T
For some reason, that doesn't motivate me to study tough *procrastinates forever*

I've also taken up fitness again because I seriously need to get in shape.
Have to go by the gym later today to pick up my shiny new subscription and sign up for some classes. I'm thinking kickboxing. For maximum ass kicking skills.

Oh yeah, no real progress in my quest for making friends sadly. But yeah, nothing I can do about it really. I'll figure something out.

I'm also going trough a little relapse of insomnia. These things never last long so I don't have any meds for it but I CAN'T SLEEP. I go to sleep at around 4 am and wake up at 6 am or earlier. I'm seeing sunrises here people. It's actually quite interesting but it's making me tired. Plus I have nothing to do at night. I just hope I'll be able to sleep again soon T___T

Blergh, that's all

I hate, HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE, cactii >___<

I've got little pinpricks and scratches all over my hands. You can't even see most of them but they hurt like hell. I'm pretty sure there are still some needles stuck in there as well. I only had to move them T___T

Working from 9 to 6 is hell.
I'm tired, hungry, thirsty, dizzy, I have a headache and a stomachachet, my feet feel dead, the strength in my arms is pretty much gone now and worst of all, I'm BORED.
Working at a garden centre isn't really bad. You get to do a lot of physical work but I don't have to think about anything I do. Wich bores me to death. Writing fanfic/crackfic in my head doesn't distract me enough anymore so I need new stuff to think about at work.
What do you guys do when incredibly bored at school/work/wherever??

I'm raging at posting fees. Do you know how much it costs to send a package to someone!?
Your package is still on the way tough Dar C:

I tried to call my best friend a while ago but apparently she´s currently in Stockholm with her boyfriend. She probably won´t even be back in time for her birthday (saturday). I kind of feel like I'm losing contact with her.

A LITTLE LATE BUT WHATEVER

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO verschreibsel 

( Cut for me being very hyper and crappy artwork )

I'M BURNING IN HERE... This Global Warming will be the death of me.

Stolen from xtiggzie 

Tell me something. What you had for breakfast, what your favourite color is, who you love, something you can't stand, something that means the world to you, anything. Secrets or something that's not really a secret. I just want hear what you have to say, really. So comment away. IP logging off, Go crazy.

hope IP is actually logged off, no idea how to do that

Tell me ANYTHING you want to share ^^

EDIT: FUCK. THIS. SHIT. I SEEM TO HAVE NO IDEA TO LOG IP OFF PROPERLY SO IT ISN'T, DEAL WITH IT T______T (IT'S HOT, THUS I'M BITCHY T___T)